The great thing about “aha” moments for me is that I never know when that sparkling revelation-that moment of true clarity and honesty that takes me to a deeper level of awareness-is going to occur.
I believe,and have for quite some time, that living a vegetarian lifestyle is both healthier and more compassionate than being a carnivore.
This week I have been working with one my little clients who is 4 years old and freaky smart-my kind of Different Thinker for sure!
I have been teaching him how to play double solitaire. It has been a riot for both of us. Today after we finished, he left and I sat quietly playing a game myself. Then it happened-the “aha” moment.
This one, like most “ahas” for me, was a coming together-a synthesis-of thoughts and feelings and truths my Heart and Mind have been exploring for quite a while.
When I studied Universal Kabbalah about 5 years ago, there was a very important element that we explored, and that was the Seven Deadly Sins. I want to be clear that the point of the exercise, like all of the deeper study we did, had nothing to do with fear, shame and guilt, and everything to do with accountability and personal responsibility.
The seven deadly sins are manifestations of ego and fear-some more intense than others. The two areas that were really intense and personal for me were sloth and lust.
Sloth and lust, for me, have had to do with Self-hatred and hiding-either behind a messy and unkempt persona or, gaining weight to hide my true figure.
When you grow up with addiction, it will take its toll. This is not about me blaming my dad some more as I am 100% responsible for my choices as an adult. As a child, food was a source of safety and comfort, so I ate often and a lot. I reveled in Roast Beef and Lamb and bacon! My Mum was an amazing cook, so it was easy to lust after the food I knew we would be devouring like wolves. I have eaten steak and beef with intense lust-I have. Anything associated with it too-baked potato loaded with sour cream, garlic bread, Caesar salad, dessert, all of it.
So, there I was this morning sitting and playing Solitaire when the “aha” came. I wanted to cry. I have a great amends to make my fellow animals for having used them. And first, I have an amends to make to my body. I come from a long line of people who had Diabetes and heart issues.
I have raised chickens even while eating chicken for dinner. Yes, I feel really guilty. As I sat there today, I realized that if I am not willing to look at how an animal is processed and slaughtered, I have no business eating it.
I can grow veggies and legumes and feel pretty good about putting organic cream in coffee as those dairies are pretty darn compassionate toward the dairy cows!
There is no desire in me to get all militant like some and start sharing upsetting videos. That has never worked for me-all of this I came to on my own.
Lust-plain and simple. Hamburgers, roast beef, roast chicken-lust lust lust.
So I am making an amends to me and the animal world and wanting to live in deeper Peace and Harmony. I am nobody’s hero, and I am not judging you if you eat meat-I had a Big Mac about 2 weeks ago.
This was my revelation today, and I wanted to share it. The more I am willing to detach from ego and fear and lower base desires, the more Light I have to share.
Light and Love to you!
Heather
